This is my lucky day. Or soon will be.

            A friend of long ago connected with me on Facebook or whatever it is called today. Actually, it was through the app, Messenger. I will call her Faith, who later came to challenge my faith. We briefly exchanged pleasantries and what we had been doing with our lives. Then she abruptly switched topics and told me about this government program(“…I was just wondering if you have also received a text from the GGF[Government Grant Fund] about their on-going program.”), which she learned about from a friend. Odd? She  had received $400,000! They are ”helping the young, old, retired citizen workers and non workers, disable…no strings attached.” What a wonderful program! Everybody needs to know about this! This is an amazing country! I got to get in on this. Money, money, money. (Abba) She gave me the contact information.

            So I went to this site and clicked, and the “agent”, Mike Rollins, whose picture appeared, asked for my name. Would I be compromising myself  by giving my name? I decided in a moment of weakness it would be okay to give my name. He asked me to complete a short form, which wanted some information about me. Almost all the information, except “worth of income,” whatever that means, could easily be found since it was public information. I told Mike that he could look for this information himself since it really was public information. He claimed that he needed it to prove my identity since they had been looking for me to award this money. What a small world? He found me and pass the biscuits and gravy. They did not want to be defrauded, cheated, lied to, and so forth and so on. Yadayadayada. (“…a lot of people lied to us and claim to be the real person, so you need to be honest with it okay?”) Honesty is the best policy, and Mike knows. Ask Faith. She knows as well.

            Of course, I could do a search of myself (The Google Giggle), find the information he wanted, provide it to him, and it would still might not solve the issue of honesty, which is not doing too well in this exchange. Or I could just pretend and give him the information since all of this is just pretty much Alice in Wonderland anyway.

            I asked Mike if this program had anything to do with the Society Claims of America Management program thru the Department of Human Resources. He answered, “Yes.” To my knowledge, which has its limits, there is no such Society and, by the way, the acronym for this made-up organization is SCAM. And there is no federal Department of Human Resources. The word, “Health,” is missing. Does it matter? Life is short! Go for it!

            Faith came back. Had I talked to the agent? How was that progressing? Why was Faith, my dear old friend, so interested in my dealings with good old Mike? “No strings attached,” wrote Faith, who knows all.

            I wanted to get back to our long-time friendship and the good old days. I asked her about Arnold. How was he doing? Faith said he was “doing great.” I lied and asked if he was still working at a certain business. She said he was not. That was very interesting, very interesting, because I made up the name, and if she has a relative or friend named Arnold, I have no idea who he is. I am pretty sure Faith has no idea who he is. Does it matter? At this point I am pretty sure Faith is not Faith. For all I know and I do not know much, as noted,   Faith could be Mike and Mike could be Faith. And Faith has some other name and Mike has some other name or a bunch of names. Odds are I will never find out. What a pity, and we are just getting to know one another in a weird, creepy way.

            I asked Faith to call me so we could catch up. I am really disappointed, because she did not. That’s life in the big city. Or on a cell phone or in the cloud. Cirrus. Cumulus. Stratus.

            As for Mike, I asked him what this windfall program is all about. He told me it was organized to eradicate “poverty paying bills and others.” I don’t like poverty or paying bills and bounced checks. Others? Not sure. How giving me a lot of money is going to eradicate poverty does not equate. It just doesn’t make any sense, but is it supposed to? The bottom line makes sense.

            I decided to go on line (The Google Giggle) and check out this program. Mike told me it is the Home Care Cash Grant program, which sounds very official.  I found Scampulse and other sites. And sure enough, I think it is a scam. What a surprise! Call up the Reserves. Somewhere down the road I am sure I will be asked to send money for some purpose to receive my jackpot. But, Faith, my dear friend, got her money so how could this not be legit? Honesty! Honestly!

            Here comes Faith again, beseechingly,  “Trust me. I can’t lie to you. I was so sceptical (sic) about this at first that it is too good to be true but I did it all with faith and got assured that it will be delivered, so be calm and honest with him, ok? Even a good friend of mine just received her own money delivered yesterday.” What a coincidence! Sure enough and jumpin’ jelly beans. Faith sends me a picture of her unnamed, smiling friend at her door, receiving a big box from a FedEx delivery man. I am to assume it is full of money.

Happy days are here again,

The skies above are clear again,

So let’s sing a song of cheer again,

Happy days are here again!

            I ask Faith. How can this be? The government sends money in a big box. (FedEx, Not USPS) No check? No wire transfer? “Extremely bizarre.” What if the lucky recipient is not home? We have all heard, if not been the victims, of packages being stolen from our homes. Faith replies: “Just follow the agent procedure everything will be done.” I am relieved. This is Faith. You must have faith.

            Mike is back. He wants to move forward. We set up a phone call. The picture of Mike is a man, who looks about 50, white hair, a mustache and beard, with a tie and apparently a jacket. (The picture is circular.)  He has a jovial, inviting smile. One can trust this man.  The Mike I spoke to has a heavy Hispanic accent, his English appears somewhat limited, and he repeats that this is a real program and he is a God-fearing man. As he wrote earlier, “…I am a God fearing man I can’t scam you have told you so many time that this is real and legit.” What does G0d-fearing mean? He is religious and can be trusted? Or if he is not honest, God will strike him down. If the latter, Mike, you may be in trouble.

            I have had it. I tell Mike and Faith that they should be ashamed of themselves. Do their family and friends know that they are trying to scam an old man and rob him of his money? Did I really think this accusation was going to have any effect on Mike and Faith or Mike/Faith or whomever? Duh!

            Messages suddenly pop up about making a donation or becoming a member of the organization. I clicked on one to see what would happen, and it was sent to Mike. He wanted to know how much I wanted to contribute. I told him I did not believe the government accepts donations. I am not donating and I am not providing financial information about me. (The only government program I donate to is the Internal Resources Suction program, which gets me every April.)

            Faith and Mike are persistent if they are not one in the same. They are definitely not the names posted.  They try to wear you down. I give them credit.  Persistence may pay off with some. They have nothing to lose. On the other hand, the target or victim does.

            This scam apparently has been going on for a while, and it must be working. Crime pays. Greed corrupts the mind and dents the bank account. If one has the slightest or any doubt, check it out. Call a friend, a family member, somebody! Giving a stranger (Well, Faith and I go way back!) money to receive money?! Really? The Brooklyn Bridge is for sale. Offers now being taken. Cash only.

stan m lefco july 25 2022